the situation

I’m here one minute, gone the next.  Where I keep going, I don’t know, really, it’s this sort of drifting that my mind is strangely using to escape from something that’s too big for it to handle right now.  The weeks are flying by, I am always disoriented and confused, tuesdays feel like thursdays, wednesdays like saturdays, sundays like tuesdays, I am all over the place and I am losing this sense of self that I had so proudly developed over the summer. Everything is so habitual and mechanical and the total opposite of what I really want, I feel thousands of opposing forces rushing through me at any given moment. It’s these general feelings of instability that concern me.  I could fall asleep in this chair and this weekend I decided to stop being an apathetic asshole, regarding myself.